Monday November 19, 2001

Excommunicated

OMG I feel so disconnected. A whole week away from my baby, my little baby website. I've been busy. I have a paper (or five) to do. Funny thing, one of them was on the physiological and psychological effects of sleep deprivation. I've had plenty of that lately. I still have one paper due tomorrow, and then another one next week, along with three projects from various classes, which means I'm not going to catch up on my sleep at all during this nice mini-vacation.

I feel like my stomach is eating away at itself. Stress, it's literally killing me. I keep trying to tell myself that I'll have a Bachelor's someday, then a master's someday, then a PhD someday... and I'll be Dr. Drina then, and that will be cool. And I'll be a psychologist doing some pretty interesting artwork, since I'll be swimming around the human psyche for the rest of my short days on this planet. But that just seems so far away. And the fact that my life now revolves around studying and reading research publications is difficult to say the least.

I need some time off, with no papers or projects waiting to be done. I need to paint some (for myself, not for class), and read some (ditto). I need to stop acting as if my life revolves around me and only me, and remember I'm so damn lucky to be worrying about this instead of something else. My house isn't in danger of being blown up (I think), I don't have cancer (knock on wood), and I've never had a boyfriend cheat on me (that I know of). I'm damn lucky.

Yeah.