June 28, 2001

Not working? What?

My day off from my job(s)... and what do I do? Lay out in the sun... for a good 15 minutes. That's it. I figure since my skin is so shockingly white, I should take it slowly. But by the time I go away to school at the end of the summer, I wanna be tan. Color is good.

Pop-up comments disabled in Archives | Permalink

June 25, 2001

Day of Reckoning

I finished the book. I still haven't taken it back to the library. I need to scan through it again, re-read some things. I know it'll probably confuse me even more. I don't need that right now. Or maybe I do. Struggling is not necessarily a bad thing, I guess. I't pulls me out of my apathy. It makes life real. I need that. On a happier note, I got accepted into Elite, which makes me feel oh-so-good. I'm a snob like that.

Pop-up comments disabled in Archives | Permalink

June 23, 2001

Alone time

I had the house to myself for a while today. My parents were driving the relatives to the airport and my sister was at work. I've been reading Day Of Reckoning. What can I say? I have riots in my head I can't quite describe, and this book has been provoking them. I didn't think it was possible to be filled with hope yet saturated by despair at the same time. This sounds cheesy. I want to go to bed. I need to think a little.

Pop-up comments disabled in Archives | Permalink

Family's gone

Well, the relatives finally left this morning. My brother's wedding is over. My sister can now move her a$$ out of my tiny little room, where we have lived in cramped conditions for the last two weeks. Things can finally start to get back to normal. I need some normalcy right now... because in a few weeks there will be chaos again. Switching jobs, switching schools, etc. I need a break.

Pop-up comments disabled in Archives | Permalink

June 22, 2001

Rain

It rained last night. Really hard. Sarah called me on her cellie at Brown's Stadium to tell me N'Sync was going to be on in five minutes. I could hear music in the background. She said she and her mom were already soaking wet. They had to stop the show for an hour because the rain was so bad, but they finished the concert. I was just downtown a few hours ago, and it looked like it might rain again, which means tonight's concert could be the same. That's what they get for going to see a boyband.

Pop-up comments disabled in Archives | Permalink

June 19, 2001

Where the hell am I going?

School... something I don't even want to think about. I just mailed my deposit. Too bad I have no idea what I want to major in. And it's not like I have that much time to decide either. Meetings with my counselor and the dean is in two weeks. What do I do now? Art? Computers? Biology... as in medicine? What the freak do I do? I'm hoping someone will give me a little kick in the rear and show me which way to go. There's a big fat fork in the road up ahead, and I'm inching along... anymore than this and I'll be off the road completely. It seems like everyone knows exactly what they're doing, and where they're going, except for me. By default I will be a computer science major, but I don't really want to do that. And what makes this whole school thing even harder to deal with is that it's not the only area of my life plagued by uncertainty. What is going on with Eric? What is going on with God? What it going on with my family? What is going on with Sarah? What is going on with me? Maybe what I need to do is get the focus off of myself for a little while. Maybe I'll try that.

Pop-up comments disabled in Archives | Permalink

June 13, 2001

My evil supervisor

I just wrote a note to my supervisor that I won't be working the desk at the Y anymore. I dunno, I just hate it, with all the new pointless rules that the new exec made up. And it's not like I don't have other jobs. I have enough. And when I start school in August, I don't want to be coming home every weekend to work. $6/hr is not worth that. I can do better.

Pop-up comments disabled in Archives | Permalink

June 12, 2001

Idiot Drina

I am such an idiot. Such an unbelievable idiot. Today is Sarah's mom's birthday, and I didn't remember it at all. Brandon told me at work... I forgot it. I'm going over there in a few minutes. Maybe I should stop and get something at the store. Dammit I can't believe I forgot. And tomorrow is bro's birthday, but I don't have to worry about that --he's on his honeymoon. I'm sure he's getting enough already.

Lou and Tim are coming to Sarah's too. This should be interesting. It's like putting together two chemicals just to see if anything happens. I don't know, maybe sparks will fly.

Pop-up comments disabled in Archives | Permalink

June 10, 2001

It's OVER

It's weird that I haven't been on the computer for four days. Hmm... where do I start? I have so much to say. More wedding crap, more other crap, etc. Okay, let's get the boring stuff out of the way first. This will be pretty long.

Hectic is a good word to describe the last few days. My mom was going crazy trying to get everything done for the wedding. I got my shoes the night before. I finished the 'Just Married' sign at 3 am on the big day. I got up three hours later. I put on that green thing they call a dress. Put on my evil silver strappy heels that almost killed me that day. Makeup, hair, all that boring stuff. My hair is so long that if I curl it, the weight of it pulls it straight again. Someday I will chop chop chop it off. And dye it a nice beautiful blue. Yes.

Anyway, we were late to the church because my sister wasn't ready. A limo bus picked up the bridal party and the guys... posh. Pictures, lots of them. The photographer didn't know what he was doing and took damn near forever. I was nervous going down that aisle... I thought I was going to trip and fall, landing on my ass for everyone to remember forever. I made it though, barely.

The reception was loud, raucous, fun... I danced. My brother and his new wife looked beautiful. People got drunk... I mean, this was a Croatian-Irish wedding we're talking about here. One of my brother's inebriated friends fell on me. I got over the bridesmaid's-dress-hating-thing pretty early on. I still would rather have been wearing jeans and a black t-shirt, but no such luck. The band was good. so was dinner. Stephanie left really early. My cousins stayed late. A day later, everyone is talking. It was good.

My macho brother and his friends cried. It was funny, but it was not the best part of the night. The best was seeing so many people that I knew as a child, that I haven't seen in years. I met my godfather for the first time since I was a baby. He gave me a $100 bill and said he missed seeing me. My uncles made the trip from Europe, one of whom I had not met yet. And a friend from Canada stopped here too. I think he was my favorite out of town visitor. I haven't seen Tony in about a decade or so. I remember the days when he and my brother would put their devious little minds together and torment me as a kid. Well, okay, maybe not torment... but I was the 'little sister' --and you know how that goes. He's changed. A lot. I mean, really a lot. But then again, so have I.

After the band played the last song, the few party-goers that were left started to trickle out. There was boyfriend drama playing out with a friend of mine. After a while, Sarah took me to her house. We picked up Tony too, because we were bored out of our minds. I think that's when it hit me how different he is from the boy I remember. We chatted about stuff... music, theology, work-related stories. When it came to the God question, I kind of lost my tongue. I have no idea how to explain something that I can't prove to anyone but myself. I tried using a hypothetical example... it came out wrong. I've come to the conclusion that if I can't articulate my thoughts about that subject, I won't say anything at all. Art, politics, and sex are much easier topics at three in the morning anyway. Maybe I'll go put my 'God' thoughts down on paper.

I finally hit the pillow at about 4:30. By the time I woke up and headed to the day-after party, Tony left. The party is still going on outside. I can hear my aunt's voice in the background, looking for my cousin. Bro and new sis-in-law just took off. They're heading for the honeymoon tomorrow. I hope they have fun. I'm so happy for the both of them. They really are the perfect match.

So that was my weekend. The wedding is done with... finally! I can now go back to my life of low wages and meaningless art projects. This is the good life.

Pop-up comments disabled in Archives | Permalink

June 05, 2001

Did I mention I hate weddings?

I'm sick of talking about the wedding, so I won't do it anymore. On to other things... well, right now there really aren't any other things. I will be so glad when all this is over.

I really want to go to the CD Warehouse and get Dookie... I was sitting in my car and singing, and I miss that cd. It's gone. So I should go get another one. I love Green Day.

Pop-up comments disabled in Archives | Permalink

June 04, 2001

Wedding crap

So many things to do before the wedding... still need shoes, have to go pick up some cake boxes, stop by Target and get the saran wrap covers, figure out what the hell to do with my hair... I don't know what to do with it. It's too long and straight. And I still have to do the just married sign. That will take forever, but I only have four days. Ahhhhhh!

Pop-up comments disabled in Archives | Permalink

This is my blogchalk:
United States, Ohio, Cleveland, English, Croatian, Drina, Female, 21-25, painting, psychology.

E-mail me